Holding Tight

My thoughts have been sad lately...thinking of Casey Anthony, a family in our ward that lost their son, another friend that found out her little 5-year-old is really sick and there's nothing they can really do besides watch him and tend to him as best they can...all these things combined with the nightly news, just rips your heart out.


On the way home from the playground today there was a father with his arms wrapped around his son, carrying him down the sidewalk.  It was something that just warmed my heart in an incredible way. 


I realized that even though there are awful things happening every second of every day...there are so many wonderful things happening as well. 


I don't think I'll ever feel that I'm a "good enough" mother.  I will be haunted by my decisions forever and wonder always ... what if? 


My grandpa says that, "yesterday's gone, you don't know if you have tomorrow, so all you've got is today." 


All I have is right now.


I have right now to wrap my arms around my children and love them with all my might, holding them tight in hopes that they'll know how much they are loved.


I have right now to not holler at Jake for leaving his boots in the middle of the living room...to just be grateful for all that I've been blessed with, as I am an incredibly fortunate girl.